Any of you who visit IRR know that I tend to be slightly obsessive about reading. Recently that obsessive quality made an appearance when I stumbled over a box of older Harlequin HPs. I had won this boxobooks during a weak moment scanning EBAY. You know, one of those times where you bid $9.99 for 60 books, never thinking you will actually win, then you win, and you find yourself with 60-70 romances from the 70s, 80s and early 90s. Don't try to act like you all haven't had this same thing happen. I know you people.
Anyway, in an attempt to cull the "best"from this huge group of books, I went to my favorite source on old Harlequin/M&B stuff, the incredible readers on Amazon Romance forum . If you haven't visited these forums, I highly recommend that you do. There are readers posting at the Amazon forums that have read everything in all genres of romance and they are happy to share their knowledge. So, I asked for their favorite "train wrecks." Train wrecks are also known as WTFs by some, those books that are so horribly strange that you just can't look away and as you are reading you are constantly asking yourself, WTF??? They may feature plots that are absolutely exquisite in some ridiculous, over-the-top way. They most likely feature characters that are unbelievable, probably unlikeable, but fascinating on all kinds of levels. The late 70s and early 80s, were an incredibly fertile time for Harlequin and Mills & Boon writers and many of the best train wreck titles are from this period.
One such book that tends to send people over the edge is Robyn Donald's Smoke in the Wind. Donald started writing for M&B/Harlequin in 1977 and has written more than 70 books since. As HP writers go, Donald is one of the best. Her work, besides being well-written, has a depth and a fineness to it that is often lacking when writers are churning out titles as HP writers do. Most of her books are set in New Zealand or Australia and her descriptions of these locales rival those of the best travel writers. She obviously loves her home. Donald is generally admired and most avid HP readers agree that she is tops in the field, however, just the mention of Smoke in the Wind and many normally rational people start wailing and gnashing their teeth.
What makes Smoke in the Wind a Train Wreck title of spectacular quality? Well, let's just say that the course of true love doesn't run smoothly in this story. The book opens with our heroine, Venetia falling for gorgeous television executive, Ryan Fraine. Venetia is also a television journalist and as their work draws them together, she thinks that Ryan is looking for a modern, independent woman and she decides that she will be that woman. He wants casual, no-strings sex, so she will provide it and then he will eventually come to value her and their incredible physical chemistry so much that he will fall in love and crave a true commitment. Um, not so fast, Venetia. Turns out that our boy has mommy issues and craves an old-fashioned paragon of purity for his marital bed. You guys may have great sex, but when it comes to commitment, that is a BIG strike against you. As our heroine plays fast and loose, Ryan meets her lookalike, goody two shoes, virginal cousin and almost immediately falls in love. He drops Venetia like the proverbial hot potato, but not without slaking his manly urges one last time after telling her that she is just too big a slut to ever be his wife. You guys see where this is going, right? Fast forward five years and we find Venetia living somewhat happily in Australia. She has picked up the pieces of her life, moved away from her man-stealing cousin and her sleazy ex and made a career writing historical fiction. Yay Venetia! But not so fast, dear readers. Virginal cousin dies tragically young and Ryan decides to track down Venetia and all kind of craziness ensues.
Now the question that drives most readers insane is whether Donald manages to craft a believable love story for Ryan and Venetia out of the above mess of WTF! I say she absolutely does. After reading this one several times, I feel that it is a masterful example of a truly complex series romance. Donald makes these characters come to life in a big, messy, but very real way. We've all done crazy stupid things for love, right? They are both completely screwed up because of their past and their personalities and she explores this in a level of detail that is truly unusual for a book with this page count. By the end of Smoke in the Wind, I was exhausted. So much great angst! So trainwrecky! I went on to read every Donald book in my collection and then go out and glom all that I could get my hands on. If you like messy, crazy, angsty train wrecks, I advise you to do the same!
Meanwhile, let me leave you with a few facts of life that I have gleaned from my recent Harlequin HP immersion:
Heroines have red hair. Whether strawberry blond or deep auburn dark, evidently red-headed women have a tendency to fall for dominating, asshat men.
Actress/model=WHORE. You may be rich, successful and beautiful, but forget about hard work, if you are in either of these fields, the hero will immediately assume that you are an amoral slut who is just out to snare a rich husband.
No one is named Susan or Jack. Autumns, Prues, Amerells and Natashas abound, as do Berics and Trents and Blaines. you won't meet a hero/heroine with anything close to a common name.
Every man in New Zealand/Australia owns a station (but also has a luxury flat in Auckland/Melbourne from which they run the other businesses in their empires.)
Every man in England/America is an international financier.
If you don't own a station or a multinational company, you are probably a sheik or the prince of a small country that no one has ever heard of.
If the heroine of an HP is barren or infertile, she's gonna get pregnant the minute the hero looks her way.
If you are the heroine of an HP it is super bad luck for your family, because they are most likely dead. Conveniently killed off so that you have no support when the hero pressures you into marriage. Also, you must be an orphan in order to insure that you won't be good enough for the hero's snooty family.
If you do have a family, they will be responsible for your downfall. Either your mother will be a grasping shrew out to sell you to the highest bidder or your father will have gambled your inheritance away, forcing you into marriage with a right bastard just to save the family name. If you have siblings, they will either be super bitches (sister or, more likely, step-sister) or incompetent criminals who get caught quickly (mostly brothers).
If you have a stepbrother, you will very likely end up married to him.
OK guys, what do you all think of harlequin HPs or series romances in general? Have a favorite train wreck book, that you love to hate?
Leave me a comment and I'll enter you in the drawing for a free Christmas romance!
***Holiday Romance giveaway update, screw picking names, it is Christmas and I love you guys, so you're all getting a book! If I don't have your address please email me, either here or FB and I'll do my best to make sure you get your book before XMAS. Thanks for checking out my little blog and I hope you all have the best New Year ever! *****
